Through the eyes of a Borderline

 why is everything always my fault? It doesn't matter what it is or even when it's not my fault. I am the one who gets blamed and other people fucking believe it!!

 All I ever feel is emptiness. Sadness. Hurt. Regret. Pain. Failure. Numbness.  I've been screaming for help. At this point I am just drowning in my own tears. I don't see any way out anymore. I think about suicide everyday. Every single day.  Do I just finally do what I have been wanting to since I was 12? Or should I just run away?